I DO NOT FREE BASE COCAINE

This is just funny, I don't know what else to say.

Beware of the Dog House

You might want to rethink what you got her for the Holidays!

Peggle Nights Bonus Levels

Just in time for the holidays. If you have Peggle Nights installed (either trail or full version), there is now bonus levels (2 for trail version and 5 for full version) with a Christmas theme to them. Have Fun and Merry Christmas!

http://www.popcap.com/extras/peggle/bonuslevels/?cid=dec_2008_103_04

Federal Bailout Program Form

This is the new form for the bailout program!

http://www.bassfiles.net/tarp.gif

Downhill Bowling

A neat twist on bowling

www.downhillbowling.com

405: The Movie

This little video will make you laugh out load. The little old lady at the end is great.

http://www.bassfiles.net/405.wmv

Really Cool Shopping Site

This is a shopping site in the netherlands that is awsome. It might take a little bit to load.

http://producten.hema.nl/

Run

All you have to do is run and miss the holes. Be sure to use the walls too.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/run

Peggle Nights

This is the sequel to a very good game, Peggle. All you have to do is clear the screen of the pegs, sounds easy but it is a lot more difficult than you would think. Guaranteed to provide you with a lot of fun.

http://www.popcap.com/games/peggle-nights

Warfare 1917

A strategy war game with a map creator. Fairly easy except for the last level.

http://www.addictinggames.com/warfare1917.html

The Ref Makes a Tackle

Commando 2

This is a very nice side scrolling action/adventure game:

http://www.miniclip.com/games/commando-2/en/

In The Doghouse

Here is a good challenging puzzle game that is sure to give you at least an hour or two of fun:

http://www.miniclip.com/games/in-the-doghouse/en/

Not Long Enough

A girl was helping her boyfriend set up his PC and he wanted to log in with a password. Now, you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in "penis".

His girlfriend nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied...:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.

Doctor Dave

Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. Every once in a while though, he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go..." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Dave, you're a vet..."

High Diver View at Beijing

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/08/21/sports/olympics/20080821_10M_DIVING.html

How many people have your name in the USA?

HowManyOfMe.com

There is 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Gamer's Bill of Rights

http://blogs.pcworld.com/gameon/archives/007630.html?tk=nl_goxsld

Magic Sandals

This married couple were on holiday in India. They were touring around a busy Bombay marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Indian accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

The married couple walked in. The Indian man said to them "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild and crazy at the sex, just like great desert camel."

Well, the wife's eyes lit up as her husband wasn't exactly the sex god he thought...far from it in fact. The husband felt he really didn't need them though, "How on earth can a pair of sandals turn somebody into a sex freak???"

The Indian man replied, "Please kind sir, just try dem on...."

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many a year!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Indian man, bent him over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Indian's thighs. The Indian then began screaming,

YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!"

Complaint Department

Spiders In The Garden

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

"Well, that might be OK in California, BUT we're not having any of that shit in Arkansas"

Mole Freckles

This little girl is having a hard time saying mole freckles!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

World Wars

Basically Risk the board game on pc. You can choose from 2 to 8 opponents.
http://www.addictinggames.com/worldwars.html

Six 8 - Pull Your Pants Up

A rap song telling people to pull there pants up. Even the little dance the girls are doing is funny. You got to love it!

Gates vs. Jobs

A light saber fight between Gates and Jobs to see if PCs or Macs are better.

http://www.ugotgames.com/action/gates-vs-jobs.php

Hedgehog Launch

Object: launch a hedgehog in space. Each launch equals one day after each day you can buy upgrades from the money you collected that day. I bought all of the upgrades and made it to space in 9 days although that was my second time to play (first time took 26 days--I didn't know you could use the left and right arrows to move) A good waste of an hour or so.

http://www.addictinggames.com/hedgehoglaunchSW.html

Totem Destroyer

A very fun game where there is a golden Idol on top of a bunch of blocks. You have to get the Idol to the bottom with out it hitting the ground.
http://www.freewebarcade.com/game/totem-destroyer/

Back to College

Most stores put pencil, pens, paper, binders, etc. on sale for back to college. This place truly knows what college is about.

3D Logic

How is you logic? This game has three sides of a cube with 16 squares on each side. I few of the squares have a colored box with a matching color somewhere else. All you have to do is connect them. Sounds easy so have fun.
http://www.xgenstudios.com/play/3dlogic

Territory War Online

A very good turn base game. The server was down when I played so I controlled both teams, but I bet it will be really good against other people.
http://www.xgenstudios.com/play/two

Best Buy Prank

This has got to be one of the best pranks of all time.

http://improveverywhere.com/2006/04/23/best-buy/

$500 Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable Reviews

I don't know which is funnier: the price or the reviews!

http://www.amazon.com/review/product/B000I1X6PM/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?%5Fencoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Vilcus plug dactyloadapter

If you feel the need for a shock to your fingers this is the product for you.
http://www.artlebedev.com/everything/vilcus/

Ball Girl

The story behind the video:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-thu-viral-gatorade-ball-girljun26,0,1242132.story

A lesson in Posting

How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

Super Mario Bros. GTA Style

Star Wars Floppy Disk

Even floppy drives have a dark side!

Running the numbers

A website with different statistics with pictures to show the amount of product being used. Interesting and makes you think.

http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php?id=7

The Irony

More Funny Pictures and Myspace Layouts atpYzam.com

Snake

If you like the original snake game you will like this modern one.

http://www.addictinggames.com/snake.html

The Dishes

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.

Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."

Steve sits down for dinner and It is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES!!"

Ear or Finger

While having drinks a man and a woman got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

Learn to Fly a Plane

This is where I want to learn how to fly!

Surprise Daddy

Geeky or Creepy?

Gamer's Wedding Cake

Straight Guy in Gay Bar

A man walks into a bar and immediately realizes its a gay bar. He thinks to himself I'm not gay but I really want to to drink so he walks up to the bar. The bartender asks "What is the name of your penis?" The man says "Man get outta my face I'm not like that, just gimme a beer." The bartender replies,"I'm sorry sir but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis." The man says, "Okay then what's the name of your penis?" The bartender replies "Mine is named Nike, You know Just Do it. The man thought for a moment then replied "Mine is named Secret." The bartender replied "Secret?" The man explained you know, Strong enough for a man, made for a woman."

The boat race: US vs. Japan

Isn't this about the truth


The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance.

On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

Bored Husband

Dear Mrs. Murry,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO Re: Complaints

15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons section.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.

September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!

And; last, but not least!
December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Johnny Learns Politics

Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Corporate Condoms

Click on image to make bigger!

Speeding Excuse

Very Good Prank

1. Fasten the balloons to the car
2. Drive like a crazy person
3. observe the other road users

Bomb Squad Practical Joke

Sudoku

Get your daily fix of Sudoku with three different levels each day: Easy, Medium, and Hard.

http://www.miniclip.com/games/sudoku/en/

Vote Me For President

http://www.news3online.com

Just Letters

A letters game where multiple people try to use the same letters to create words. Just see if you can create one word in here.

http://lunchtimers.com/

Charming Wall

Someone has too much time on their hands, but it is a really neat site. Click on the different links at top and see what happens.

http://www.charmingwall.com/

Couldn't help myself

Fake Money

I really don't think this was made up.

http://humour.200ok.com.au/onlyinus.htm

How to get Police attention

This is so true...

Round like a shot
Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things.
I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone as soon as possible.
I hung up. A minute later I rang again. "Hello," I said, I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them."
Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the officers said: "I thought you said you'd shot them."
To which I replied: "I thought you said there was no one available."
TONY GLADSTONE

Yet another luser

"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Mm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

[OUCHh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

[Ahoy--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem.I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.]"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have alittle light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the powercordgoes into it. Can you see that?"

[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into thewall."[pause]

"Yes, it is."

[Mm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turnedit off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switchbecause I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to havemore than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cablesplugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the othercable."

[muffled] "Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back ofyour computer."

[still muffled] "I can't reach."

"UHF hub. Well, can you see if it is?"

[clear again] "No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-- it's because it'sdark."

"Dark?"

"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming infrom the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]

Comprehending the IT guy

Comprehending the IT guy - Take One:
Two IT guys were walking across the park when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second IT guy replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'

The second IT guy nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


Comprehending the IT guy - Take Two:
An architect, an artist and an IT guy were discussing whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The IT guy said, "I like both."

The artist said "BOTH?"

The IT guy replied "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done."


Comprehending the IT guy - Take Three:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the IT guy, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Five Reasons Computers Are Female

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

4. The message "Bad command or filename" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The Cup Holder

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is borken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
I am sure you have heard this, but it is too funny to leave off!


Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, its attached to the front of my PC."

Tech: "Please excuse me if i seem to be a bit stumped, it's because i am. Did you receive this as a part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have a trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional, it just has '4X' on it."

At this point the tech had to mute the caller, be cause he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the loader drawer for the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.

Church Advertising

This Church doesn't discriminate!

Now that's my kind of burger!

Excit

An Excel puzzle game. It is really fun and challenging.
http://www.pixer.org/excit/

If it gets too tough, here is a walkthrough.
http://www.freegamesnews.com/en/?p=2823
Post number 41 is the most helpful

Natural Hallucinogen

It works better full screen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzSRVgF501M

Shakira - Hips don't Lie

I don't know what to say about this.

Why every guy should buy their girlfriend Wii Fit

This really makes me want to get Wii Fit, how about you.

Achievement Whores

Another very funny video if you are a gamer.

Tower Defence Games

I recently got interested in tower defence type of games. This is where there is a map with a path going through the middle (sometimes zig-zag not necessarily a straight line). The enemy follows this path and you stop them by setting up different types of towers and/or people. This site has majority of these games. Some of my favorites are:

Bloons 1 and 2
Canyon Defense
Temple Gaurdian
Ultimate Defense

http://www.towerdefence.net/?page=allgames

The Sniper

This one is for the sniper in you. Graphics aren't the best but will provide you with an hour or two of fun.

http://www.addictinggames.com/thesniper.html

Zuma

A simple but fun and very relaxing game.

http://www.popcap.com/games/free/zuma?detect=2

C.I.L.F.

A YouTube video that is very funny. Warning: May be offensive to somes. By the way before you get the wrong ideal it is Cartoons NOT CHILDREN!!!